Black Men Vs Black Women: Agents & Opportunists In the M...

How can someone claim to be for Black men and hate Black women? How can someone claim to be for Black women and hate Black men? I came across a "pro-Black woman" page on Facebook and started checking out some of the posts. I couldn't help but to notice the "anti-Black man" undertone from the poster as well as in many comments. After reading a comment that suggested Black male babies should be aborted, it was confirmed that this was "one of those" pages.

What do I mean by "one of those" pages? I mean the pages that claim to be for the progress of Black women and throw Black men under the bus. And don't get it twisted, the same thing is happening with many "pro-Black men" pages where Black woman bashing is a hobby for the commenters. For example, Tommy Sotomoisture is one of the most notorious Black woman bashers like, ever. This man takes the most stereotypical images of Black women to highlight and "teach" other self-hating Black men why to stay away and justify disrespecting Black women.

With the reemergence of Black consciousness, Black pride, melanin, natural hair, and all things deemed as "pro-Black" in the past few years, many have gained enlightenment, education, and knowledge through many social media pages, groups, forums, blogs, and other forms of social networking. Although Black pride is being celebrated, dysfunction and division is still alive. In my opinion, this is because Black people have not been truly healed. Many of us jumped right into movements celebrating natural hair, dark skin, dashikis, and everything that makes us appear "woke" (and there's nothing wrong with that if you're being genuine, we all have to start somewhere), but our indoctrinated self-hatred and anti-Blackness has not been destroyed. Regardless of our cultural practices, education level, jobs, wealth or lack thereof, across the diaspora, many of us still suffer from the unhealed effects of colonization and Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome.

But back to the topic at hand, within the paradigm of Black pride and dysfunction, I've notice the creation of so called "pro-Black woman" and "pro Black man" social media pages that carry these "anti-Black man" and "anti-Black woman" messages. Topics such as "feminism destroying the Black family", deadbeat Black fathers, single Black mothers, slut shaming, and discussions on weave are had. While some of these pages like the one I was browsing share a lot of truth to them such as the disrespect and lack of protection Black women endure, misogynoir, sexual assault, and more topics, the undertone of Black women hating Black men and Black men hating Black women cannot be ignored nor is it accepted. Some of the messages and commentary on these pages may not be as extreme as the comment about Black male babies needing to be aborted, but when the undertone is set, tap into your spirit of discernment and see through the bs no matter how much truth the posters mix in with their real agenda.

As a young Black woman still finding her way, but also still knowledgeable about certain topics, I feel that if you are anti-Black man and claim to be pro-Black woman, you don't really care about me as a Black woman. Let me go further and explain. I am a Black woman with Black men in my life. From my father, brothers, boyfriend, and associates. A part of my identity surrounds me being a Black woman apart of the Black community and the Black/African diaspora. If you hate Black men, you not only hate yourself and the line of  Black men that you come from (since they are apart of you), but you hate what's apart of me and my life. I can imagine if I have some kind of issue with a Black man in my life, the advice given to me from people in these spaces would be extremely anti-Black male. This goes the same for the Black men who claim to be for their fellow brothers but tear Black women down. If you hate Black women, you hate yourself since you come from not only a Black woman, but a line of Black women.

What's even more insane about this situation is that many of the people who make these hateful comments against BM and BW are fathers and mothers to Black girls and Black boys. How in the hell can you raise a Black children to be successful and healthy mentally and spiritually all the while hating their gender? How do these people interact with extended Black family members of the opposite sex? And then everyone sits and wonders why the cycle of destruction keeps happening.

I also can't help but to notice that some people of the opposite sex who engage in the hate against Black men and Black women are members of interracial relationships. Now don't get me messed up, I'm not saying that every Black person in an interracial relationship is in the relationship because they are self-hating, want lighter skinned babies, or whatever stereotype. But let's be honest, many Black men and Black women do get into these relationships out of self-hate, thinking they're "getting back" at BM or BW, wanting mixed babies, and for other immature, Willie Lynch, plantation minded reasons. I can't wait to go in on that topic (self-hate and interracial relationships).

The truth is that these people who run these pages, I don't believe, are really down for the cause. They don't really care about Black men or Black women, they have their personal beef with the opposite sex and work under the guise as advocates when they're agenda driven agents. Not just COINTELPRO-esque agents who are paid to do their devil's work and cause more division (yea, they're out there serving misinformation on a platter), but some of these people are unpaid agents causing mass dysfunction out of their own misery. Hell, as quiet as it's kept, most of these people running these pages and websites aren't even Black.

I'll even go as far to say that they also probably hate the same gender they claim to "advocate" for and they're just rallying a troop of other hurt people to validate and justify their hatred and sickness. Posting biased, stereotypical, negative news articles that make Black men or women out to be the enemy, all psychological programming. The more negative images we see of one another, the more we gain this mentality that said group is the scum of the earth. I see right through the conditioning. How are you being a voice for Black women or for Black men by directly or indirectly supporting self-hate, emotionalism, and bitterness? That contradicts everything these so called "self-care" promoting advocates preach.

While I'm not here for this slave mentality, I understand it. As stated previously, Black people in the U.S. and across the globe have been unofficially diagnosed with PTSS and face a slew of other issues. Brainwashed from whitewashed Christianity, indoctrinated through the American media, miseducated in the school system from K-College, trauma from living in the hood or witnessing Black bodies destroyed by the police system, and so much more. On top of that, we live in a society where mental and emotional instability is running rampant. We have to face the isms based on our race and sex. Then let's not forget the problems we face on an individual level. With no support system and limited safe spaces, it's no wonder why so many of us are so psychologically scarred. Black women have faced so much hell from Black men, and Black men have been emasculated by Black women. A common theme in both of these cases is the dysfunctional and feelings of anti-Black woman and anti-Black man starting in the households

Regardless of the situation, hate against Black women, nor Black men should be tolerated. Black women have every right to express our frustrations and pain with Black men, and vice versa. In order to heal, we have to be honest about the pain we've faced dealing with one another and stop using every opportunity to talk over each other. No one wants to listen or understand one another. I can't tell you how many times I've read conversations where Black women were venting their woes with Black men and instead of absorbing the information, instead of asking how they could make things better, Black men ignored everything the woman was talking about and flipped the script to "Well Black women..." It baffles me how so many grown adults can't hold conversations and only wish to reply. Ego, shouting matches, and "who's the most hurt" contests, are not helpful.

We both need brother and sister healing circles, safe spaces, and other means of support as separate genders as well as individual healing. Hate doesn't dissolve by spreading more hate, and the individuals and groups who participate in this activity while our people are in a vulnerable state are not friends, not advocates to either gender, not crusaders, and damn sure not kinfolk. I'm at this point where if you ain't about healing both parties, I can't rock with you. I'm not stating that people who "get it" should throw the people who are still struggling to the side, but we must be honest about the fact that everyone doesn't want to be saved, and the spread of anti-Black man and anti-Black woman messages from our people to our people is damaging and detrimental.

Within this reemergence of Blackness that I discussed earlier, there are a lot of opportunists waiting for the next come up off the pain of Black men and women and this is what I see with the undercover pro-BM/pro-BW pages that make it their business to shit on the opposite sex. This hateful, counterproductive, self-serving rhetoric is disrespectful to not only the men and women who in the modern day have martyred themselves for our freedom, but also the ones in the past as well as your ancestors.

These individuals have every right to hate Black men or Black women. but don't come around pretending to be a crusader or activist for BM or BW when it's out of vitriol and bitterness for the opposite sex. As a people we don't need anymore hate, we need love and healing. As a grown adult, if you don't understand that the bad seeds don't represent the entire population, congratulations, you played yourself. Be angry by yourself. I don't expect for things to all of a sudden change. It took us 500 years to get into this condition, and it will take a while for us to get out of it, but if we can help a few people wake up, it's better than nothing.